Waves

Mental illnesses are waves

Some big, some small  

They show warning signs

They hit  

One after the other  

And then another

Knocking you off your feet

Dragging you out to sea

You’ll swim towards shore

You come so close  

Just to be pulled back  

Sometimes farther than before

The pushing and pulling

Disorienting you

To where it’s all too much

The stinging strong smell of the salt overtaking the air

Infiltrating your lungs making it hard to breathe

The slimy water clinging to your skin

Like seaweed trapping you  

The crashing and thrashing of the waves

Breaking against your skin

The bitterness overtaking your tongue

As you gag unable to catch your breath

The water weighing you down

Bringing you to the bottom

 

You feel like you’re drowning  

being overtaken by it all

With no one to save you

No matter how loud you scream

Unable to swim  

Sinking until you can’t breathe  

Watching the waves crash down on you

Fighting to live

You push yourself from the sand

All the way to the breaking waves

Seeing the sun rise on the horizon

Beginning a new day

You may never make it all the way

But enough to survive  

People may never see

How far or how hard you swam

They may never understand

How it felt to drown

And to keep swimming after

Through the true deep and dark sea

 

Now I look back

With my friends and they

See how hard I swam

How much I struggled

And they support me even when its hard

 

I know I can breathe

Even when I smell the salty sea

Even with the slimy feeling

That never seems to leave

Even when I feel the waves strike my skin

Even with the overpowering taste

Always on the back of my tongue

I know I can live

 

 

Too young

Too young

Being young is hard

You don’t have money

You are going through changes

That you never prepared for

People will say that you are too young

Too young to know yourself

Too young to know pain

Too young to know what’s right

No matter what you do

You will always be too young

Maybe I am too young

But maybe you are too old

Times are changing

Yet you are still in the past

It’s time you join us in the present

 

Your generation is no longer in power

The youth are speaking

It’s best if you listen

 

I am not too young

I know who I am

I am not too young

I know I have depression

I am not too young

I know that every human being

Deserves to live

I am not too young

 

We are the generation of social media

We spread information and speak our minds

I may not be able to vote

But I will be damned if my voice does not get heard

I will yell and scream

You call it a tantrum

I call it a riot

We are ready for the fight

Are you?

 

Still alive and well

People try to say that homophobia is dead, that people who aren’t straight have nothing to worry about. Teens who have been kicked out of  their homes because they weren’t straight would beg to differ. The people who are being beaten for it would beg to differ. Gabriel Fernandez an eight year old who was tortured and murdered because his mother’s boyfriend thought he was gay would beg to differ. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how you were raised we are all human beings who deserve respect. You don’t get to decide if you are straight. You don’t get to decide if you are cis. What you do get to choose is what you do and what you think of others. We all have the right to life liberty and pursuit of happiness and your views will not change that. Religion and government are separate no matter how much you want them to go together. People who are not straight exist and aren’t going away. People who aren’t cis exist and aren’t leaving. We exist and you aren’t getting rid of us.

An open letter to the kid I gave a candy cane to in the mens bathroom

Congrats on your win in debate, sorry you had to see me after that encounter there. I know i shouldn’t have been in the mens bathroom, but what can i say i never back down from a dare. My friends dared me to give you a candy cane after they saw you walk into the bathroom. So i sucked it up and went on in. At the time you were still peeing so i had to awkwardly stand there until you were done. I’m glad you already had your thing put away when you turned around. I don’t know why i said it but sorry i said merry Christmas when it was like February. Now that i am thinking about it i hope you do celebrate Christmas. I hope the candy cane i gave you is what encouraged you to win because i think it gave you luck. Sorry it happened so soon after you went pee, i probably should have let you zip up your pants but i also could have given it to you when you were peeing so i think i was being generous.

Why did you crush the candy cane? On your way back to your round you threw the candy cane all crushed up at me and my friends. What was the point you could of had a sweet treat that made your breath smell minty, but no you just had to crush it like my dreams. I also sincerely hope you washed your hands after i left the bathroom.

Sincerely,

Ash

KCMO

I’ve lived here my whole life

I may have moved

but I never went far

This is my home no matter what

 

My home is where

You see the cornfields

but still can see the city

Its where my family is never far

and my friends are even closer

 

My friends who help me through

Lifes roughest points

Whose families will take me in

Without a second thought

Even when it was unconventional

 

My friends who support me

With everything I do

The people who make everyday

That much brighter

And help me get to where I need to be

 

My home is where the Royals won the world series

For the first time in so long

Seeing the city come together

To celebrate this small yet big victory

 

It’s where the best barbecue

is right around the corner

where the family meets for fathers day

and we all get the same order everytime

where they remember your name

No matter how long it has been

 

There are quicktrips are wherever you go

with the blue raspberry slushes

In the back of the store

and the isle of candy to the left of the door

Where whenever I enter I feel safe

 

My heart belongs to KCMO

and home is where the heart is

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