Darling

Darling, Mama wants you to know that there will always be sunshine. She wants you to know that happiness is coming, that love and friendship is forever, and that her life can’t hurt you.

Darling, please don’t let her life hurt you.

Don’t let the people that you thought you knew know you better than you know yourself on only one side of your pendulum.

Don’t let yourself be stuck by their magnetic clockwork winding you up to the point that your green light eyes come on pleading “Unwind me!”

Darling, don’t let them continue to twist your gears until they snap.

Don’t let someone take you when you’re vulnerable with the breath half knocked out of you. Don’t let them pluck at your heart like a harp because

Darling, eventually they will start twisting those strings onto the braces on the teeth that weren’t good enough in the first place.

Darling, don’t let my depression corral you into a dark hole where you can only hear your mama’s voice.

Her breathing shaky and tight from being hit so many times by flung words of acid that silented her.

And darling, I’m sorry if when you lean against your mama’s chest you hear her broken heartbeat.

I’m sorry if you hear the rumbling of fear vibrating under her rib cage, the hate popping like rock candy, and the muffled cries for help from the days of her eating disorder.

I’m sorry if you only hear one side of your mama’s broken pendulum.

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