Dear Orthodontist, I Love You

Dear Orthodontist,

I hate you.

Not you, personally, I’m sure you’re a great dude, but every bite I take brings me great pain and I blame you entirely. Also, I’m really not about these off-white rubber bands. They make my teeth look yellow. I feel like you’re sabotaging the last two years of my education.  The dentist has never bothered me. In fact, I really enjoy going to the dentist. I figured the orthodontist would be the same but no. You are ruining my life. I have to miss school, all for you. I miss hours out of my day. I see you for maybe ten minutes, you tell me what I’m doing wrong, you tell your assistant what to fix, and then you leave. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING PAID FOR?!?! It is unfair to your workers and I suggest they riot. Bring chaos down upon you. I fully support it, I’ll fund it myself. I’ll run to Dollar General tomorrow to get poster board and decorations. And glitter. Lots of glitter. Good luck getting that out of your stupid waiting room carpet. You know, the waiting room where you keep coffee, fruit snacks, and granola bars. Even though we’re not supposed to have coffee, fruit snacks, or granola bars. WHY ARE YOU TORTURING US LIKE THIS?! *sigh* But, supposedly you’re fixing my teeth, so I guess I kind of have to love you.


Yours (with boiling rage,)


P.S. I bit you in the 3rd grade when I had my retainer. You probably don’t remember because I stopped seeing you for about seven years but I want you to know that I regret nothing.

*Pfft What’s A Title?*

How dare you shout from the rooftops about the country you “support”

When following its values is something you ignore?


What are you proud of, exactly?

The parents that contemplate divorce because they don’t make enough money to pay their daughter’s medical bills but too much to qualify for help with their combined incomes?

Or is that just a fake news story to you?


Are you proud of all the students that infect everyone at school because they won’t risk paying 300 dollars just to have a doctor tell them “Wait it out, stay hydrated, and get a good night’s sleep?”


Are you proud of GoFundMe Accounts titled “Ten Years Old W/ Leukemia, Please Help?”


No. No, you aren’t proud of any of these things. You regularly shame them for asking for help rather than working all 168 hours in the week to afford the shattered system you refuse to fix.

So This Is Kansas City…

So this is Kansas City,

The place that isn’t just in Kansas.

The place that’s technically a city but there sure are a lot of cows…

And CHICKENS! Why does everyone seem to have chickens?

The downtown cityscape is surrounded by suburbs that seem to hate each other just because it’s something to do and everybody seems to have something to say about everything, whether they were asked about it or not.

So this is Kansas City

Where there’s a history of segregation and separation but hardly enough people for it to make sense.

Kansas City- where methamphetamine and Monarchs make stains and art gets confused with shuttlecocks and overpriced sandwiches.

But this is Kansas City, where even with the division of the masses, the individuals have always been able to come together, like the nearly 6000 people willing to walk the plaza for gun control, and the buildings still find a way to be beautiful when their next-door neighbors are crumbling to pieces…

*To Be Continued

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